I figure after 31 years of life, it’s time for me to pass on some of the vast array of knowledge I have gathered. So, this is an ongoing series in the reorient blog. No thanks required, and feel free to add your tips to my lists. This week came to me in email form from my Aunt Lynn in Ontario.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars so that they slow down. Bonus: When the police come to visit you, tell them you were contributing to global warming.
2. Put decaf in the coffee machine at work for 21 work days. Then switch it to espresso.
3. When writing checks, write in the memo line, “For Smuggling Diamonds – Thanks!”
4. Finish all your sentences with, “In Accordance with the prophecy”.
5. Skip as often as possible. Skipping is American. Walking is what communists do. They definitely do not skip.
6. When ordering at the drive through, make sure to specify that your order is ‘to-go’. The guy taking your order will appreciate it.
7. Put a mosquito net around your desk at work or school. Make tropical noises with your mouth. Monkeys and insect noises work best. This will raise awareness for people.